“It’s a man’s world, but it ain’t nothing without a woman.” – James Brown
I got into a conversation with a female client the other day. She has a great figure. She’s a size 6 but wants to be a 4. I asked her why. She said she feels like a big moose at a size 6. I explained to her that in Beverly Hills people think that, but the national average is a size 12. She replied, “I’d shoot myself if that was the case.” Turns out, she wanted to be a size 4 because her girlfriend was. And apparently more men looked at her girlfriend than her. I knew which girlfriend she was talking about. There’s a reason why more men look at her. She’s a 10. And not just any 10. She’s an L.A. 10. For my readers who are not in L.A. or even in the United States, we tend to rate women differently here. By the way, this ain’t me talking, this is the way it is. If you’re the hottest chick in your hometown in middle America, you might be considered a 10. But because of all the beautiful starlets who flock to L.A., we have no shortage of hotties around here. For that reason, if you’re a 10 in your hometown, you’re a 6 or maybe a 7 in L.A. It’s not unusual to be a size 2, size 0, or even a size 00. I personally don’t find these stick figures with fake boobs attractive. I generally refer to them as boobsicles. I like my women to look like women. Hell, I get to sleep with a Bond girl every night. Do I say that to brag? Yes, yes I do. In case you’re skimming this article, let me repeat it, I sleep with a Bond girl every night. Thank you very much. I told you that to tell you this. I’ve been working with women for the better part of 30 years. I’ve worked with women 150 pounds overweight and women 50 pounds overweight. I’ve also worked with women who wanted to go from a size 4 to a size 2, and so on and so forth. I’m going to let you all in on a little secret here. If you’re a woman, it doesn’t matter if you are 300 pounds or 90 pounds. I’ve never found one of you to be happy with your size. I’ve often had conversations with women about this. I ask them why they do it. The answer is always “it’s what men want.” Here’s a secret for you ladies: it’s not what men want. Men want women. Period. You guys are killing yourselves to be thin and it’s not for men, but for other women. You can thank the likes of Helen Gurley Brown and Twiggy for fucking it up for all of you. I’ve often said if every woman in the world got together and decided to all get fat at the same time, men would still love them and still want them. Why? Because women still have all the vaginas. Ladies, the next time you go on a diet or ask for your dressing on the side or go to a spin class, make sure you’re doing it for one person and one person only. Do it for yourself.
Twiggy
Helen Gurley Brown
Sophia Loren...always the right size
