Perez Hilton...fitness expert
Anyone who’s a reader of this blog for any significant time knows I have lots of opinions on lots of things, especially when it comes to people. You may remember this summer I spent a couple of weeks on Perez Hilton because he decided to start a “fitness” blog (called oddly enough FitPerez.com).
Jillian Michaels...queen of fitness.
I’ve also had my problems with Jillian Michaels, the so-called “fitness” expert. I don’t know who made her the end-all and be-all of fitness. It certainly wasn’t me. I think I’ve even said a thing or two about Richard Simmons.
He’s probably one of the richest fitness people on the planet, and probably the most pathetic. Why? He knows nothing about fitness. Most people don’t realize how Richard started in fitness. In the 1980s he played an aerobics teacher on a soap opera. One thing led to another and we got the likes of “Sweating to the Oldies” and “Deal A Meal.” I actually like Richard. I think he’s a hell of an entertainer. I love when he sits around with fat women and cry over the pie they just ate. I told you that to tell you this. I was having lunch earlier and there was a television on in the room. A promo came on for the Dr. Oz show. I think Oz generally gives out good information. If you find yourself sitting around the house in the middle of the day and can’t get off your ass, check him out. He gives general information on what you should do, like take vitamins and such. Today Dr. Oz was promoting Deepak Chopra.
Deepak Chopra...must not take his own advice.
I might just have a stick up my ass about this guy. And I can’t actually say why. To give you a quick history: He’s of Indian descent and is a doctor. He’s an endocrinologist. For the uninitiated, he’s a pretty smart guy. Somewhere along the way, Deepak realized you can’t make a lot of money being basically a scientist. So he jumped on the alternative medicine bandwagon. Hell, why not? He already had the look. He had a degree. All he needed was a Hollywood agent. I’m always giving this guy a hall pass on my blog. But after seeing the promo today, I was like, “What the fuck?” He was claiming that he can cause “anti-aging” and “permanent weight loss.” Because of his medical background, he knows that neither is possible. There is no such thing as permanent weight loss. The only way is to lose weight, and before you gain it back, kill yourself. That’s the only way to do it permanently. And anti-aging? It hasn’t happened yet. I say yet because science has gotten pretty close. In most cases, it backfires because of the mutation of the genes. Simply put, fixing one problem causes another. It’s like taking steroids. You get big muscles but your nuts shrivel up and your liver gets effed up. That’s if you’re lucky. A final note: If Deepak Chopra can cause permanent weight loss, he first has to explain his double chin. That’s right funny man. I’m calling you out. You’re fat. And if you can cause anti-aging, why do you look older than ever?
Sophia Loren...doesn't suck.
