I was talking to my nephew recently. He told me he was at Wendy’s getting a bite to eat. So I said to him, “What, all this talk about getting healthy and you’re at Wendy’s?” He promptly told me he was getting salad. I don’t know much about Wendy’s, but I get the feeling the salad ain’t so fresh. But I could be way off. Then I admitted something. I did something for the first time this year. It usually happens once a year or every other year. I don’t keep track. I found myself at the drive through at McDonalds. It wasn’t like I had a hankering for a Big Mac. I was out Christmas shopping with Serena. She asked me to pull through. She ordered something called “Chicken Selects,” which I’m guessing is their version of a high end chicken dish. The picture on the screen looked as though it was breaded and fried. I love fried food, I grew up in Cajun country. I like to have it from time to time as a treat. I didn’t want Serena to eat alone, so I ordered one. Unlike Serena, I told them to hold the fries. I wanted to be a just a social eater in this theater if you will. I noticed something on the first bite. It didn’t taste fresh. There was a hint of a chemical taste. Not wanting to waste food, I ate all three pieces. Something funny by the time I got to the third piece. I no longer noticed the chemical taste. I was also wishing there was a fourth piece. Within a half an hour, I swear I felt like someone slipped me a mickey. I felt high. My stomach was off the rest of the day. I generally have a cast iron stomach. As I said earlier, I grew up in Cajun country. We’ll eat anything, and somehow it all tastes good. I told you that to tell you this. My nephew said, “You know, I understand why poor people get fat. Cheap fast food is all they have.” Are you kidding me? Here’s a healthy meal that’s better: Beans. You can find beans for 65 cents. Put some rice in there and you’re eating for under a dollar. You have protein and carbohydrates. It’s a low fat and no chemical meal. I can make an argument for milk. It has fat, protein, carbs – and every milk I’ve seen in my life – vitamin D. If you’re so poor that all you can afford is a Happy Meal, you can certainly afford milk. It may be nature’s perfect meal. Most grocery stores have cheaper cuts of meat. Add it to that inexpensive rice and feed a whole family. That can be bought for the price of a Popeyes fried chicken bucket. I didn’t mean to get off on a rant. I don’t want to steal the words of Dennis Miller by saying that. But I’m sick and tired of people telling me there’s nothing good to eat. Anyone heard of an apple? There was a time before the Industrial Revolution when apples were a seasonal fruit. Mass refrigeration allows us to get a nice, crispy apple any time of the year. Happy holidays, everybody.
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