Back in Biblical times (we’ll call it Biblical times because that’s when the best selling book was put out…the Bible…thus the term Biblical times. But I digress). In the old days, caravans would travel across deserts to other towns. For a lack of better terms, it was a gypsy caravan. They went around selling magic. They were selling snake oil potions and the like. There was one guy who was like the David Copperfield of his time. He was a young Jewish entrepreneur. His tricks have never been matched by the likes of David Blaine and other street illusionists. This guy would make blind people see, make crippled people walk and even feed thousands of people with a loaf of bread. His big finishing trick? You guessed it. He walked on water. This guy was a showman. He was so good that well over 2,000 years later, his book is still a best seller. His birthday is celebrated around the world. He is…the most interesting man in the world. If you haven’t figured out who I’m talking about yet, his name is Jesus. The reason we know he was Jewish? He thought his mother was a virgin, and his mother thought he was the savior of all mankind. (To all Catholics and Jews, before you get offended, I don’t hate any of you. It’s just satire, folks.) I told you that to tell you this. Trickery did not end in Biblical times. It is still alive and well today. I can mention tons of products on the market that couldn’t possibly do what they claim to do. But today I’m going to pick on one. It’s called the Power Balance Bracelet. I’m not going to go on and on about how dumb you would have to be to buy this. I’m a human too, and I’ve bought some stupid things. This wasn’t one of them. Rest assured, this product will not work as stated. Let’s cut to the chase here. It was a bad idea when you bought it. Do yourself a favor and take it off so you don’t look like an idiot.
Sophia Loren...perfectly balanced
