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“I used to ride with a vending machine repair man. He says he’s been down this road more than twice.” – Sheryl Crow
I’ve eaten most of my meals out since I’ve become an adult. This is the antithesis of how I grew up. Until I was 18 years old, just about every meal was eaten in my house or at my grandparents’ houses. That’s kind of how Italians do it. Because of my job and my lifestyle, the only time I’m near my house when it’s time to eat is at breakfast. The other two meals are generally in restaurants. It seems like restaurants go through phases. In the mid-80s you couldn’t go into a restaurant without them asking if you wanted blackened chicken or blackened fish. If they could blacken ice cream, they would have. Shortly after that, everything became pesto. Pesto pasta, salad with pesto sauce…all of a sudden I couldn’t get away from pesto. Until they decided everything was about capers and hearts of palm. The list goes on and on. A style of food seems to come around, we beat it to death, then move on to another style. I told you that to tell you this. I was talking to my nephew the other night. He was complaining that his balls hurt. He’s complained about these balls for the past month or two. At first I thought he had a groin pull. Since I’m not a doctor, you know, like Perez Hilton is not a fitness expert, I told him he should visit a real doctor. Let’s call my nephew Mike because that happens to be his name. He never rides a bicycle. As a matter of fact, I don’t think he owns one. I started thinking about bicycle seats and how all of a sudden after hundreds of years of using one type of seat, someone decided that it was bad for your perineum (AKA, the taint). If you still need directions, that’s the area south of your balls and north of your bung. All of a sudden bicycle companies were telling us we would become impotent if we rode on bicycle seats. Let me tell you. It ain’t gonna happen. At 48 years old and over 15,000 miles of riding per year, I’ve never once had a problem. Maybe the best example would be Lance Armstrong, who’s known for sporting one nut. He lost the other to cancer. That guy has no shortage of kids running around. Lest we not forget, he kept Sheryl Crow happy. Three years ago you could hardly buy a seat that didn’t have the middle cut out. There was no shortage of doctors coming out of the woodwork to say that if we didn’t use these types of saddles, the human race would be over with. OK, maybe I’m exaggerating a little. But you know what I mean. These saddles came and went. Kinda like sundried tomatoes. Remember that era? By the way, my favorite saddle is the old style Brooks saddle. I have them on every one of my bikes and my spinners. Brooks has well over 100 years of technology. It’s the best saddle out there.
