“Those who can do. Those who can’t teach. Those who can’t teach, teach P.E.” – Woody Allen
Somewhere around 1987 I seemed to be hitting on all cylinders when it came to fitness. As far as my job description, I was the head strength coordinator at the Newman School in New Orleans. It’s a great school with a great sports program. The school produced the likes of Sean Tuohy. If you’re wondering who he is, there’s a best selling book and movie about him you may have heard of called the Blind Side. That school also produced two MVP Super Bowl champions, the Manning brothers, Peyton and Eli. If you’re not a fan of the NFL, just turn on your TV and within minutes you will see them hocking something. When I wasn’t busy with Newman, I was busy with my other jobs, all relating to fitness. There was the radio show called Talking Fitness that I hosted, and I had my private clients. I loved what I did back then. I still love it today. At one point a woman signed on to workout with me three days a week. We’ll call her Sharon, which is not her real name. Sharon listened to everything I told her to do very intently. She asked lots of questions, which most of my clients didn’t. After all, they didn’t care how it worked, they just wanted to lose weight. Not this woman. Not only did she listen intently, she wrote everything down, sometimes asking me what certain words meant. She was like a dream. We were both interested in the same thing. But after a few weeks, Sharon stopped working out with me. Some time had passed, then I heard about another personal trainer in town. This was the mid-80s, there weren’t a lot of trainers out there. Who was the mysterious trainer? You guessed it, Sharon. I guess you could say all of her training to become a fitness expert happened in less than three weeks with me giving her instructions. I told you that to tell you this. I never got angry at Sharon for doing what she did. I figured if anyone was dumb enough to use her as an expert, they got what they deserved. Beside, she didn’t last in the business long. Like many trainers today, she realized it’s not easy money, it’s long hours and if you don’t show results, you’re out. You’re only as good as your last workout. The other day my buddy Johnny asked me if I was certified as a trainer. I said no. He asked me if any of my clients ever ask if I’m certified. I said, “All the time.” And what do I tell them? The same answer I told Johnny. No. Then I explain to them that I’m over qualified. What do I mean? I have an actual college degree from a top university, well known for medicine. And at this point, I have almost 30 years of experience. What do you get from a guy who’s certified? At the very least, a guy who Googled certification, took an online test and was sent a certificate. Are all certifications this bad? No, but they might as well be. Some courses are really intense. You might have to go to a class for a whole weekend. And then buy a book, read it and take a test on a whole separate weekend. Who’s certifying these people who certify trainers? Nobody. These people are just as big a scam artist as a guy who woke up one morning and decided to become a trainer. By the way, I may be in the only profession that anyone can wake up in the morning and say that they’re in the same profession. The only exceptions may be dog walker and window washer. Let’s be honest, window washing does take some skill. Case in point, you can’t wake up in the morning and say, “I’m an astronaut” and be one. Or a doctor for that matter. The point I’m trying to make is simple. If you have a trainer or are considering a trainer, ask questions. If your trainer says they’re certified by the NCSF, ACE, ACSM, ISSA or any other group of letters, tell them thanks but no thanks. Go find yourself a real P.E. teacher.
