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I could be wrong about this, but almost everything I’ve ever learned in life, I’ve learned from Saturday Night Live.
I haven’t actually seen the show since the Eddie Murphy days, also known as the last time it was funny. Even earlier, the first “Not Ready for Primetime Players” hit on some funny and poignant subjects. I guess it was 1975 or so when they did the skit called “Shimmer Floor Wax.”
As it turned out, it was a dessert topping and floor wax all in one. The idea was, if you dropped your dessert on the floor, Shimmer would shine it up.
A lot of things were like that in the 1970s. It was a time when we tried to invent one thing that did several things.
Saturday Night Live would pick up on these things and run with it. As I’ve mentioned in an earlier blog, we have cell phones that do more than a Swiss Army knife would. Our cell phones are no longer just a telephone. It’s our answering machine, a texting device, a paging device, a camera and if you have 3G service, a mini-computer. That’s not to mention GPS, etc., etc.
Apparently companies such as Johnson & Johnson and Proctor & Gamble haven’t followed suit. They make money by creating more products. In order to create a product, you first have to create a need.
I told you that to tell you this. Like most women, my girlfriend Serena decided that her laundry room had to be a different shade of white. Therefore, it needed to be painted.
The good news is, she didn’t ask me to do it. She actually got an over-competent source in our friend Randy, who is a contractor. Randy gladly took the job, mainly because he likes the way I make coffee. But I could be way off on that.
The only thing Randy required was for Serena to remove everything from the cabinet. Now this is a small cabinet that I never look into. The only product I ever use from the laundry room is laundry detergent, and it’s not in that cabinet. All of that stuff was moved to the table where I write this blog.
These are the products: Capture Soil Release Premist, Oxi Clean, charcoal lighter fluid, Penquin Ultra Dry, Suade & Nubuck Cleaner, Lysol Bathroom Cleaner, Bona Hardwood Floor Cleaner, Lexol Leather Cleaner, Septi Cleans, Mr. Clean with Febreze Fresh Scent, Bissell Fiber Cleansing Formula, Magic Sizing, Soft Scrub Total Bath and Bowl, Old English Wood Cleaner, Surfaceguard Penetrating Sealer, Scrub Off Water Spot Remover, Fabuloso Cleaner, Easy Off One Step, Easy Off Microwave Wipes, bleach, Goo Gone, Simple Green, Easy Off Bam, Windex, Swiffer Wetjet, Pledge, Brawn Toilet Bowl Cleaner and Easy Off Oven and Grill Cleaner.
Got all that?
I asked Serena if this was all of the cleaning products. She said no, there was more under the sink and in the bathrooms. It was merely a portion of what we use.
To be perfectly honest, I’m embarrassed. I’ve always taken pride in being conservative. I even shower with natural soaps, trying to do my part for the environment. But here I am, one of the biggest offenders.
Will I demand we get rid of all of these? No. I want to have a clean, disinfected house like the next person. But in the name of using less chemicals and having fewer plastic bottles, I am working on combining several of these to use for different applications.
We’ve also started using natural products. But not nearly enough. I’m connected to an affiliate right here on this site called Gaiam.
Once we’re finished with the current products, I’ll take my own advice and use the products from Gaiam to further erase my footprint from the destruction of the planet.
Sorry to get on my soapbox, but at least it’s a box of natural soap. Thank you very much.