I’m not an animal

You know what sucks about breaking up? You still care about the other person. That’s the case with me and Serena. I guess the only good thing about breaking up is break up sex. But I digress. For anyone who pays attention to my relationship with Serena, we really care about each other. There’s another part of breaking up that sucks. The person might have a kid that you’ve come to know and love. It feels like a double break up. Such is the case with Serena’s daughter Tallulah. She turned 14 a couple of weeks ago. Being the animal lover that she is, she decided to have a birthday party at the Los Angeles zoo. She also has her mom’s knack for photography. She just got a brand new Canon SLR camera. The zoo would be the perfect place to try it out. I told you that to tell you this. During the day on her birthday, when I knew she’s be home, I called to wish her a happy birthday. I wanted to be sure she had gotten my gift. I ended up spending some time on the phone with Serena as she looked through Tallulah’s pictures. She told me about a picture of a monkey Tallulah took. She said it reminded her of me. I became somewhat upset. I said, “What the hell? Is that some kind of slur on Italians? Or are all men hairy apes?” She said no. The monkey was lean and muscular. It turns out, she was giving me a compliment. She e-mailed the photo to me. Upon receiving it, I studied the monkey’s anatomy. I thought she must be crazy. I then went through my own pictures of myself. This proves I have too much time on my hands. I began to realize what Serena was talking about. This all coincides with a book I’m reading called Manthropology. Modern man is compared to men of different eras, sometimes going back 100 years, sometimes 1,000 years. I think it’s a good read. It studies man through the ages the same way Freakonomics studies economics and sociology.